Summer Update

The transition away from Blogger for publishing articles on this blog has made me far less likely to publish updates, and at the same time I've been absorbed in the house hunt, volunteer projects, and new relationships. Bottom line, I realize I haven't been writing the kind of thoughtful reflections on the spiritual path that I so enjoy sharing with you. I did find out that my book, "Being Bliss," is about to be released on the Kindle and other ebook readers.

In another month or two I suspect a lot of this extremely mundane focus will have passed and I'll have the mental space to be more reflective again, but for now all I can really do is ask you to please check back again in early Fall. Have a great summer. Your emails and messages are always greatly appreciated.(indigoocean at live dot com)

This Stillpoint

The Buddha often described his teaching (which was not called Buddhism while he lived) as "the Middle Way". Yet the peace and fulfillment of genuine non-attachment is elusive. There is a tendency to either feel passionate or detached, but true non-attachment is not detachment.

Often people feel pulled between two polls of frustrated effort and hopeless non-effort even when they try to stop chasing their tails in search of fulfillment, because even in detachment they are still hanging on to wanting. You want things to be a way other than the way they are, and so you are not as consciously depressed when chasing after the hope that more effort will finally bring the cherished prize of lasting happiness, and then you are quite obviously depressed when you still want, but tell yourself there is no reason to bother trying because: life sucks, life hates you, there is something wrong with you, happiness is only for other people, no one is really happy just more or less honest, etc.

The truth is that happiness can only be found within what is, just as it is. You have to learn to appreciate not the things outside yourself that you have, but the pervasive thing that you have, which is what you are. You are life. You are awareness in all forms. You are everything that exists, all that has ever existed, and all that will ever exist. You are not only that body and the history of what that body has experienced. You are not the tales you tell about yourself in your mind. You are not the function that is meant to constantly strive to keep you alive by avoiding danger and pursuing comfort, nourishment and procreation. You are more than the separate ego self and the body it defends and promotes at every opportunity.

So long as you are identifying with the limited portion of you that is coming from your ego perspective as "X person" you can't really have lasting happiness, because lasting happiness is anathema to ego. Its purpose is to be dissatisfied so that it has something it is needed to fix.

Yet right here and now there is something miraculous happening in and all around you. It is there every day, and yet you see everyone ignoring it. You see that you have felt good and then bad while it was there, so believe it can't be the answer you have sought. Yet it is. All that separates us all from complete and lasting happiness is a willingness to embrace the one and only thing any of us truly have and devote ourselves to it completely. Love this moment of existence. Cherish the breath moving in and out of your lungs and the light glowing even through your closed eyelids. Feel yourself immersed in an endless ocean of love, and know that it loves itself completely.

The real You loves itself completely. Notice, and then commit yourself to noticing. Embrace what you have rejected as "not good enough, not solid enough, not real enough, and unprovable." Embrace the God that is you as you truly are, inescapable and all powerful yet willing to be ignored while waiting patiently for you to find the courage to say "Yes" to all it wishes to share with you.

I too struggle with maintaining this awareness. I dip in and out of it. When I dip in, I try to write something to anchor myself there. But then I wake up again the next day, immersed in delusion once again. Throughout each day I remind myself again and again to notice and appreciate what I truly have in that moment. Sometimes it feels real and sometimes it feels like I'm just telling myself, but I still keep doing it to train my mind to break its old bad habit of always looking for happiness in my external conditions. Sometimes I feel very sad when I reflect on what I've done with my life and the opportunities I've let pass me by. As much as I've done, I keep feeling I missed the boat on "my destiny." But with nothing changing within any of that, sometimes I feel I am floating effortlessly in a sea of bliss. When those moments happen, I notice that my mind writes a story of "why external conditions justify happiness" and so I respond by immediately debunking the story and noting that the reason I feel happy has nothing to do with external circumstances. It has to do with the ego loosening its grip in that moment so that my true self could shine through.

That is all that is required of us, so simple and yet so difficult to actually do. Let go and know that you are carried by the infinite perfection that you are, and which loves itself perfectly. Know that everything in your life is perfect by its view of perfection, even if not by ego's, and that as much as ego promises something different would bring you happiness and no matter how reasonable intellect says ego's promises are, they are all lies.

There are people who have any given thing you want and are unhappy. We like to tell ourselves that we would be different under their circumstances, but I tell you that if you would be different then, you would also be different now. So be different now under these circumstances. BE the satisfaction they deny themselves. Be who you are with both courage and humility.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Blog transitioning away from Blogger

Blogger is doing away with its FTP publishing feature, so this blog is now transitioning into a regular website. All the existing links will continue to work and articles will remain, but no new articles will be added as blog entries. Instead this home page will periodically get edited with alternating entries that will not be archived and the rest of the blog will remain as is.

I considered the switch to other blogging software options, but in the end realized that my limited use of this blog did not warrant any of those choices. If you would like to receive a monthly newsletter of articles that would have been added to the blog, please let me know by emailing me at indigoocean at live dot com. Right now I'm not planning on doing that, but if it seems there is enough interest I will explore that option.

Wishing you peace and blessings of fulfillment and joy, Indigo.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Goings On: Personal Update

Returned recently from Hawaii where I spent time on both Kauai (first time) and Maui (first time back since moving from there almost 3 years ago). While I was there I worked some and played a lot, and returned with the intention of living that way all the time from now on.

So for the last couple weeks I've been working (SalesForce.com training delivery mostly, but also an implementation for a non-profit that is wrapping up), learning the dilruba with a new teacher (just got my dilruba back from Shastro when on Maui), dancing, and practicing Bikram yoga at least every other day. If you've never done Bikram, it's a bit like going to a sauna for 90 minutes a day, only doing a lot of balancing and stretching poses while in there. Sometimes it's a little hard to breathe, but I always leave feeling centered and relaxed, so it is worth the torture.

Reconnected with my old friend Lori, who I originally met when I was hosting a women's spiritual arts therapeutic support group 14 years ago. Turns out she is friends since childhood with my next door neighbor. I also got to connect her with my friend Stevo who owns a permaculture farm on Maui where he takes in work/study students and teaches them permaculture. Lori is wanting to learn permaculture to extend her nutritional consulting work to earlier stages in the food's production.

Meditation practice is fairly strong, but daily mindfulness practice is quite strong. That may be partly due to running into Rinpoche quite frequently lately. I've seen him three times in the last week. Each time, his presence strengthens my own foundation within the view. It's as if he vibrates so strongly with a certain note that everyone around him gets attuned to it too through entrainment.

Working on my fourth book these days, and got one of my teen nieces to agree to provide feedback. It is a book for teens, so that is very helpful.

No complaints in the romance department. In summary, life is good, and I intend to keep it that way as a mental decision, regardless of the exact contents of my experience. But I also intend to make a real effort each day to fill the day with as many fun experiences as I can reasonably come up with. Life is what you make it. I've decided to make mine fuller, and that does take some effort.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Waiting for the Unknown to Take You Back

I've been in Kauai the last week and am heading to Maui tomorrow. I've spent much of my time here meditating on beaches. There is a moment when one stops watching the water flow and becomes the water flowing. There is a moment when the light dancing across the water's surface becomes the shimmering of one's own essence. Each day, I sit until this moment reveals itself to me.

Sometimes it comes in less than an hour. Sometimes I reach the two hour mark before this mind of mine surrenders to a view that is something other than its habitual way of encountering experience. However long it takes, I wait. There is no hurry. There are hills to mount, trails to hike, sites to see, friends to dine with, dances and tennis lessons and so on, but there is also time to wait.

It always comes. It never fails. There is only the question of how long we are prepared to wait for such a simple thing -- for nothing special at all, just the ability to perceive in a more authentic way for some period of time. Just a breather from our conditioned minds and the illusions they bury us beneath while lying to us that we have seen something real. I do not wait to see what is real. I cannot see what is real. I wait simply for a break from the illusion that the unreal is real. I wait for the space of unknowing to drink me up, call me back, and end me. It is always worth the wait.

Friday, January 01, 2010

Happy 2010!

Sending you prayers for a divine 2010 with this message.

May the beauty within all things reveal itself to you within every moment. May your heart open wide to receive the grace that is always offered and waiting for your embrace. May all the love you have the potential to give, find itself expressed and received. May you know perfect love within and around you. May you be well.

Happy New Year.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

All The Love You Could Have Given

I've had that line from a Kate Bush song running through my head the last few days. It just pops up out of nowhere, sometimes when I'm meditating, other times when I'm just going about daily chores. Any time my mind comes to rest, it seems to want to remind me, "Are you giving all you could give? Are you fully using the opportunity of this day of life?"

Generally when I have songs I can't get out of my head I find it really irritating. In this case, I'm grateful for it, because too frequently I find the answer is "no" and realize I need to make an adjustment. I suppose it would be irritating if I found it difficult to make such adjustments, but fortunately I do not. In fact, having set my intention to truly take full advantage of the opportunity daily life presents to give love to others, I find more and more opportunities seem to be presenting themselves. I'm sure it is just that I'm noticing more, but either way, I am finding I am experiencing more beautiful moments in which I am able to touch someone's heart and support them in a loving way.

I've found so much joy in remembering this simple guiding principle, "Give all the love you can give each day," that I thought to share it with you. I hope you find it as useful a reminder as I do. It is so easy to forget the point of life. So easy to get lost in the striving for what we want, the desire to be entertained, or the warding off of what we do not want, that we easily forget that we always have the power to direct love outward to others, as well as savoring the love we feel for ourselves.

I hope you will take this inspiration to pause for a moment and truly sink into a feeling of love for yourself, and that in your next interaction with anyone you decide to direct that love outward with an openness towards them and genuine desire to contribute to their feeling good about themselves.

Everyone is an artist. Our works of art are our lives as we live them. Yet too many people die with their artistry unacknowledged, both by themselves and by others. Each time you help someone to appreciate the artistry of who they are, you help them to love themselves, and make more and more beauty out of the art of you. This is an invitation to become a connoisseur, but not a snobby one. Would you choose a world filled with people who are all loved and appreciated for their unique prism's reflection of the Divine light that shines through all things? If you would, then in each day, be alert and open to perceiving that beauty and artistry in anyone you encounter. Love them. Appreciate them. And someday die knowing you have given all the love you could have given.